The Secret Diary of a Two-Year-Old was originally written over a year ago, publishing it now makes me feel proud and happy as I see the affects of everything I teach and preach on my own family. This is everything I have ever wanted. I hope you’ll enjoy it 🙂
Hi Everybody! My name is Yay (my Mom says its actually Ilay, but I can’t pronounce that yet), and I’m two years and three months old. Very happy to meet you 🙂 Last week, my mom came across a very sad Facebook post that has the same title as this one, but tells a completely different story from the story I’m about to tell you. It tells the story of most people my age, and the way they are treated by the bigger people around them. It made my mom and me very sad so we decided to start telling my story instead.
This is the story of a two-year-old person growing up with a family that always puts the connection, our relationship that is, as top priority, even higher than the trees the Brachiosaurus can reach, and he’s the tallest dinosaur in the world 🙂
Each time I won’t have anything interesting and current to tell you, I will tell you about the two years and three months that brought me to where I am today, but today I want to tell you about my daddy.
I Love My Daddy
I LOVE MY DADDY so much! He’s not only the tallest daddy in the world, but he’s also the most fun to be with, and he always plays with everything I want to play with and he gives me the best showers and he makes sure all my dinosaurs get water, and that’s super important to me! But now, my daddy is abroad. My Mom said he had been away for three days now, but it feels like forever (maybe because it’s the second week in a row and I didn’t have enough time to reconnect before he had to leave again). I was so happy when he came back, and we hugged so much and he lied next to me when I slept and we woke up together in the morning and I was just so happy! And mommy was happy too, because she slept the whole night! But then he had to leave again, and I just couldn’t fully understand what’s going on…
But He Travels a Lot…
Daddy sends me “good night” and “good morning” videos every day, and tells me exactly where he is and what he’s up to, to make it easier for me to “place him in specific space and time” (Mom’s words). On the first day, it made me really happy, and I asked Mommy to show me the videos again and again. But yesterday and today, I missed Daddy so much, I didn’t even want to watch the videos. I woke up in a very bad mood and Mommy tried all the regular stuff to make me happy (strawberry yogurt and some other goodies) but I just wanted to be angry and throw stuff all over the place.
My Big Feelings
Mommy always says that harsh feelings are part of life, and we shouldn’t always try to “fix” them, so she gave me better ideas of what I could throw and sat down on the floor next to me, letting me do my thing for a few minutes. Releasing all that anger made me feel so much better, but at the same time, it didn’t, really.
I know I can always count on Mommy to help me turn angry into sad and then come to her to be loved and consoled. She always waits for my tears to come, that’s how she knows I’m no longer angry. When I start crying she holds me even closer. Today Mommy told me that being angry with someone we love who is away is exactly how I’m expected to feel, because no one can be happy about someone they love as much as I love Daddy, being away.
And I Need Help
I’m two years and three months old. I’m so big and mature! But I can’t yet maintain different feelings simultaneously, and it’s even harder when these feelings contradict. Of course, I love Daddy. But when I’m angry, I’m just angry. And when I’m sad, I’m just sad. And I’m angry and sad and angry and sad because I love Daddy and Daddy isn’t here, all of this is really confusing and overwhelming to me.
Yesterday I had a very difficult evening. We came home after daycare and I didn’t want to do any of the things I usually do. I didn’t want to ride my cool green bike or play with my friends on the playground. So I painted for a bit. I have six brushes and eight different colors and I usually like green the most. But yesterday I kept on using the same brush for all the colors and everything turned dark and murky. I guess that’s just how it is when there’s only one me to deal with all these emotions; everything mixes and gets a bit dark and murky. These are Mom’s words, not mine, but it makes sense. We put the painting up on my paintings wall, and Mommy told me that we’ll only take it off when I’m ready to do so.
But Sometimes, it doesn’t Really Help
We then hit the shower. That was especially hard because Daddy usually showers me and I don’t know what’s the difference, but somehow when he gives my dinosaurs water it makes me really happy and I laugh so hard, but when Mommy did it, it just wasn’t the same. So I started splashing water and smiling with my mischievous smile that Mommy knows I only get when I’m really tired or, like today, when I don’t know what to do with my feelings.
So she let me do as I pleased, but all these feelings were stronger than me and I lost control and started jumping and no matter how many times Mommy told me it was dangerous to jump in the shower and told me that if I wanted to jump we need to first leave the shower, I just couldn’t get myself to stop and Mom took me out and held me in my blue towel and told me how loving and loved I am, and then the tears came again and I felt better. I fell asleep in a second, but I guess all this is why I didn’t want strawberry yogurt this morning.
A Compass is Like a Tractor?
Mommy always tells me that big people have big feelings; that everything we do comes from our heart, and when the heart is serene, we are serene and when it isn’t, we need to rely on someone we love to help us cope and make it better. Mommy always says that my behavior is the mirror to my heart and when I do things she disagrees with, it is her job to be my compass, dig deep into my heart, find the feelings troubling me and help me understand and cope. I tried to get the compass analogy, but digging is something that tractors do, so I’m not sure I got it, but it doesn’t matter because I feel that all this works.
The Most Important Thing in The World!
Mommy and I are very connected, and we never really fight, and every time I feel very bad, she helps me feel good again. I just feel I can be me around her, and that’s relaxing.
Can’t wait to tell you about my Daddy’s return!! See you next week!
Oh, one last thing – Mommy also asked me to tell you that she has this parenting support group on Facebook, where everybody talks about attachment and Nonviolent Communication and how they work, and everything there is relevant for people of all different ages! She’d be very happy to see you there!