Human beings are born to be negative; this is just the way that it is. The human brain is meant to protect us; to do so, it must constantly look for danger. We believe we can only make things “right” if we focus on the “wrong.” We think we can only find the YES if we constantly scream NO. Thinking of your kids, does this sound familiar?
Positive thinking is the most essential life skill to teach your child today, and for MANY reasons:
One of the biggest challenges parents face in their early years of parenting is one that’s infamously called the Terrible Twos; you’ve probably heard all about it 🙂 And the thing is that once we, parents, get in the zone of human brain development and learn how to dance next to it instead of interrupting its rhythm, things change for the better. And it happens pretty quickly. When it does, our lives suddenly become enjoyable, and we set our children on the path to success, a positive mindset, and positive life.
Behind the Scenes of the Terrible Twos
Something magical, miraculous, and absolutely phenomenal happens to people around the age of two – they suddenly understand that they are people! That they have their own identity, their own wishes, and their own thoughts.
If this sounds random to you, consider that up until a second ago, they thought they were an extension of you. In other words, they did not have the knowledge of existence.
Since this knowledge suddenly appears, differentiating themselves from their parents is the first logical step – and it is logical. When you say yes, they will say no, and vice versa.
We Create the Terrible in the TWOs
We live in a judgmental society; this is another “just that” fact. We assign moral judgments to everything that happens in our lives, take it personally, and believe it reflects upon us; somehow. And we try to break our children’s natural NO so we can feel in control and as if we’re living up to our parental role. This is where most fights and power struggles begin.
And unless we change that right now, this is what parenting will look like for years to come.
You CAN Change That
When we focus on the child, the child’s celebration of life, and their newly acquired autonomy, we start experiencing everything differently.
Whenever people say no to one thing, they are saying YES to another; they just don’t know it. And this is the case for all human beings, no matter how old they are.
The most crucial life skill parents can give their children is the skill of positive thinking – of finding the YES hidden beneath each NO and communicating that.
The Road to Positive Mindset
Remember we said that the human brain is meant for negativity? It is indeed the case, but the younger we introduce children to positivity – the more accessible and habitual this neurological pathway becomes.
The human experience is built brick by brick from the very first days of life, and the bricks of positivity are essential. These bricks make the difference between a “can do” mindset and a “can’t do” mindset. They’re the difference between “I am loved and appreciated” to “I hate you; you’re the worst mom ever!”. They’re the difference between those who see the half empty cup, and those who see the full.
The Beautiful Twos in Real Life
Your child does not need to listen to you just because you’re they’re Mom. Your child does not need to obey you (because the human brain is made to protest that). Nor do you want this from your child.
What you seek is the choice, the free choice to listen to you, the free choice to follow your lead from a place of TRUST.
All you need to do is teach your child to find the YES beneath their NO. For that, you need to stop thinking their NO has anything to do with you, and instead – help them see that it has everything to do with them!
“When you say that you don’t want to eat dinner, what do you want“?
“When you say that you don’t want to go home, what do you want“?
“When you say that you don’t want to sleep yet, what do you want“?
All these instances where you used to insist, convince, or assert your power – replace them with a simple question that allows your child to feel seen and heard, autonomous, accepted, and celebrated for who they are today.
The Language of YES
Positive thinking is the most essential life skill to teach your child today. With all my work with parents in the past seven years, I found that the ability to see and communicate the YES is the most lacking in modern parenting and the one we pay the highest price for. Us and our children.
With this motivation in mind, I’ve published Jacky and Raff and the Language of YES, based on Mindfulness practices, Nonviolent Communication, and a positive mindset.
Want to talk more? Join my life and parenting support group on Facebook; many beautiful transformations begin there 🙂