Patriarchy, and the Reign of Fear


Nonviolent Communication / Saturday, September 15th, 2018

With agricultural technologies, architecture, possession, and religion, good and evil transformed into the concepts of “good” and “bad”, too much and too little; families were torn apart, friends became enemies in the constant search for more. These concepts are governing us today, keeping Western society away from natural humanism.

It was 7,000 years ago that Patriarchy raised its ugly head in the Neolithic era, and claimed the Reign of Fear that is now prevalent more than ever. For the past 7,000 years, human societies have been systematically distancing themselves from actual humanism, from what being human actually means. The Reign of Fear rules our thoughts, and affirms our beliefs; we must be something in order to get somewhere, we must do it well enough and get there fast enough because there just isn’t enough for everyone. We ought to obtain the knowledge, the funds, and the assets, to gain the respect, and the social status without which, we are worthless. Or, at least, not as worthy as someone else. As much as this was correct at the dawn of the Neolithic Revolution, the Industrial Revolution, and Capitalism promoted the Reign of Fear to its current state – rooted so deep within us, we’re not even aware we are governed by it. Fear is our second skin.   

Happiness, upon its numerous synonyms, is the one state of mind that everyone wishes to reach, yet fewer and fewer people are happy. The answer to why is it so and what you can do is right here.

What Happened to Happiness?

Happiness, upon its numerous synonyms, is the one state of mind that everyone wishes to reach, yet fewer and fewer people are happy; why is it so? Depression, loneliness, lack of self-worth, aggressiveness, violence, and suicide rates are skyrocketing all over the world. There was never, in all of history, an era more war-struck than the one we live in today.  

If you are wondering what does all of this have to do with you, your partner or your family, the Reign of Fear has gotten you, too. This is the heaviest, cross-generational burden, that we are forced to carry. It defines the language we speak, the beliefs we live according to, the values we were instilled and will forever continue instilling, from one generation to the other.

Unless something changes.

If you are reading this, seeds of change are sown within you. You want more; for yourself, for your partner, for the next generation that you are breeding. Or, maybe, you actually want less? Less fear, less blame, less guilt?

Time to Connect 

Detachment is the life we are forced to live, believing there is always something to fear,  someone to blame, and someone who will blame us. Attachment Parenting is not a method, nor is it a parenting style; it is a manifestation of something much larger – of a life led outside the social structure of fear, guilt, and shame. A life empowering the exploration of self, the expression of self, and the acceptance of self, through which the acceptance of others becomes a natural given. A life of compassion. 

Only when the destructive dichotomy of good and bad is put aside, can enemies become friends. Free of judgment, free of fear, guilt, and shame. This is the only way out of the miserable condition our society has reached, and the change begins right here, with communication; with you, with me and with our children, to whom we will teach a new language – the language of love, life, and compassion.

How Would You Like to Change the Future?

Teach your children through ‘yes’ rather than ‘no’, for them to know that their actions don’t define them. Teach them to define who they are through their feelings, and let them act upon these feelings. Teach them to give through receiving, teach them acceptance through love, teach them respect by respecting them, teach them mindfulness by being mindful. 

Remove the limits of “must”, allow them to break free. 

These children will find courage by the removal of fear, they will find pride in the removal of guilt, they will find their true abilities by the removal of shame. By celebrating their natural dependence, they will become fully and truly independent, the way previous generations could never be.   

This is Nonviolent Communication, making true attachment, real connection, possible. 

Accept my invitation, if it suits you, and join my parenting support group on Facebook, learn how Nonviolent Communication is practiced in real life, learn how we can, really, live.

Viki de Lieme

Hi there! Welcome to my home 🙂 I am a mom, a parent educator, a Nonviolent Communication specialist, and attachment parenting advocate. I help children (and their parents) reconnect and find the joy of family life.