Is Positive Parenting Becoming the Norm?

In the dynamic landscape of parenting philosophies, positive parenting has emerged as a compelling approach emphasizing mutual respect, open communication, and empathetic understanding between parents and children. As societal values evolve and awareness about the long-term impact of parenting styles grows, the question arises: Is positive parenting becoming the norm?

I remember eight years ago when I gave birth to Ilay and started sharing my parenting philosophy with whoever wanted to hear, they mostly raised eyebrows and told me it wouldn’t work, that by the time he was three, everything would change, and that I’d regret my decision. Well, it’s been eight years and three kids, and I’m still going strong. I’ve never punished any of my children, haven’t sleep trained them, haven’t forced to take action against their heart’s desire, and the list continues.

And I can assure you, not only does positive parenting work, but it feels much better than any other parenting style.  

The Shift Towards Positive Parenting:

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in the way parents approach their roles. Traditional authoritarian and punitive methods give way to a more empathetic and collaborative parenting style. Positive parenting, grounded in the principles of encouragement, emotional support, and setting clear expectations, aligns with contemporary values of fostering healthy parent-child relationships.

Breaking the Cycle of Authoritarian Parenting:

Historically, many parents adhered to authoritarian parenting, emphasizing obedience and discipline. Let’s admit it; obedient children are “easier.” But – do we truly value obedient adults? I don’t want to raise obedient adults.  

As research continues to highlight the potential adverse effects of such approaches on a child’s development, more parents are seeking alternative methods. Positive parenting offers a break from the cycle of authoritarianism by encouraging parents to focus on communication, understanding, and constructive discipline rather than punishment.

Moreover, it’s about breaking the cycle of fear, guilt, and shame. 

Communication and Connection:

One key aspect that sets positive parenting apart is its emphasis on open communication. Parents are encouraged to engage in active listening, validate their children’s feelings, and healthily express their own emotions. This approach fosters a sense of connection, allowing children to feel understood and supported, ultimately contributing to a more positive family dynamic.

Moreover, it empowers parents and children to develop mutual trust, and trust is what genuine and life-long relationships are built upon. 

Empathy as a Core Value:

Positive parenting places a high value on empathy towards the child within the parent-child relationship, but also – to the parents themselves. Refusing to forget who we are is an essential action to take when parenting. Becoming a parent does not, and should not mean losing yourself. Yet many parents do. Self-empathy allows us to remember who we are, what we believe in, and what we need to be happy and content with what we have. 

When we practice self-empathy, we teach our children how to do the same, giving them the tools they need to navigate life’s complexities

Setting Boundaries with Positive Discipline:

Contrary to permissive parenting, where boundaries may be lacking, positive parenting emphasizes setting clear and consistent limits through positive discipline. This involves teaching and guiding children, helping them understand the consequences of their actions while maintaining a supportive and non-punitive environment. This approach aims to instill self-discipline and responsibility in children.

Let me ask you this: how can one care for themselves and their limits if they raise their children without limits? Right. They can’t. This is why most positive parents are actually… Happier parents

The Challenges in Embracing Positive Parenting 

While positive parenting gains momentum, challenges persist. External pressures, cultural expectations, and the stressors of modern life can sometimes hinder parents from fully adopting a positive approach. Moreover, most of us didn’t grow up in a positive environment or house. Most of us have a completely different parenting model imprinted in our brains. From our life experience, we know exactly why it doesn’t work

If you’re asking me, this is exactly what makes this challenge into an opportunity. We want our kids to be happier than we were; we don’t want them to struggle as we struggled. 

Positive parenting is not only our opportunity to heal, but it’s our way to healing the world. No less. 

Where do you begin? 

If you are now embarking on your positive parenting journey, whether you’re expecting, just recently became a parent, or parented differently for a while – positive parenting can and will work for you, too. 

Start with my book, Positive Parenting: Breaking the Cycle of Fear, Guilt, and Shame. This is not “just” a book; it’s an interactive journal where you can work to repair yourself and make beautiful theory into a beautiful practice. 

If you need help, join my community. I’d love to meet you 🙂

 

The parenting sphere overflows with different and ever changing philosophies, yet it seems like positive parenting is taking over in recent decades. Here's why.
Yup; I never punish my kids or force them to do anything against their will. And still the brush their teeth every day, they go to school, they do homework, and they do chores. Here's how I do it.

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