Most parents aren’t happy; and it’s a fact. But this being the present, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the future. It definitely wasn’t so in the past. But everything changed some seven thousand years ago.
Nomad life, the naturally flexible social structure governed by connection and equality to aid human survival rates, gradually disappeared.
When Life was Hard But Beautiful
As nomads, we couldn’t possess more than our pockets could hold. We depended on communication to know which plants were safe and which weren’t and which hill caught fire. We had to work together, as one, to stay alive. No one was better or more important than another. Age, gender, and physical abilities did not define human beings but rather – their roles as part of society.
When Life Became Easier But Beauty Withered
The rise of agricultural technologies, monotheistic religions, patriarchy, and the sudden appearance of personal possession redefined how humanity sees itself. What was once done in the name of you and me is now done in the name of “me” only.
What is Life, Anyway?
For the past seven thousand years, we’ve systematically distanced ourselves from natural humanism. We changed the way we view ourselves, others around us, and society as a whole. We now must be something to get somewhere better; we have to be better, stronger, richer, smarter, and prettier so that we can feel that our existence is justified and love ourselves.
What started with the Agricultural Revolution intensified with the Neolithic and Industrial Revolutions and became what it is today when the world shifted to Capitalism. Fear, guilt, and shame became our second skin. Most of us are not even aware of how this paradigm rules us.
Where did Happiness Go?
A staggering amount of past and current decades’ research shows that happiness is a goal shared by most human beings, but less and less are actually happy.
Depression, loneliness, divorce, lack of self-worth, and suicide rates are skyrocketing; there’s violence and war everywhere. Most parents in Western societies aren’t happy. Why is that?
We Lost Connection
A life of detachment is the natural result when we believe there is always someone to blame, shame, or fear.
The destructive dichotomy of good and bad takes people and turns them into enemies; it takes parents and children and turns their life into a war zone.
If you are reading this, you are reading this because you are already doing things differently or looking into doing things differently – into parenting your children differently.
And Connection is the ONLY Answer
When “good” and “bad” are put aside, our eyes suddenly open to see what IS. Just is; without judgment, fear, guilt, or shame. Without these barriers, we can connect and grow together. Like we were supposed to. The other day, in my Facebook group, I asked the members what might happen if they stopped focusing on their children’s behavior. One member wrote: “I will be able to see her for the smart and amazing human being who she is”. BAM.
It starts with you, with me, and with our children.
We are the dawn of a new generation, a new world—a world where children learn through YES rather than NO. A world where giving is perceived as receiving. A world where love, acceptance, compassion, and empathy are the only motivations. A world of complete acceptance of self, a world without comparisons.
I want to give you the gift of acceptance. Know that most of what you judge as negative today won’t matter in 5, 10, or 15 years from now. But what you judge as positive – will.
Are you ready to welcome happiness back into parenting? Join my life and parenting support group on Facebook. I would love to meet you 🙂